Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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