Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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