You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
