I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
