We're like a lot better than the average bears
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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