Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
