nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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