forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize