Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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