he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It was confusing and full of hummus
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
