Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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