while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
