How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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