the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
