What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
