Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
