I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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