Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
bring money and cleavage
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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