omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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