guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
