Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
