I should be sponsored by Trojan
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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