Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
