Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It was confusing and full of hummus
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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