you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
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My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
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All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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