im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
