I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
that is very illegal...i love you.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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