I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
