sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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