if you like me you must not know who I am
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
