I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize