Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
