Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
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He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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