YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
