Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
