i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
