We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
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He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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