you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
