So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
