Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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