No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she smelled like a LAN party
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
