Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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