Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
