White coat. Heels.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
