Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize