"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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