apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
