she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
