I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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