but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
