Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
