Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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