this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
