Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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