Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
