So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
