So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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