I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
