No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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