how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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