I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i think i just lost a toe
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
