You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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