who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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