I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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