I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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