I could make wine with my vomit
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just pee around me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
