"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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