I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
